Monday, July 2, 2012

Emotional...

I have tried to be a good blogger and post loads of pictures with each post, but tonight I have just words. It has been an emotional weekend for me, and I have begun to post several times and just not been able to finish. So tonight I post just raw emotion, because it's all I have to go on.

Our adoption journey has had several updates since my last post. The first was last week when we received a notice via email that we could expect our TA (travel approval) to arrive in 1-3 business days. We had to pick which day we wanted to leave as a first and second choice, so that when our TA did arrive, our agency could send off a request for an appointment with the consulate in China for our exit interview. Our dates will be contoured around that appointment. The dates we were given to choose from were July 11, and July 18. Most people would want to choose the 11th first and the 18th second right? Well of course that's what we WANTED to do, but with Greg's work schedule we simply can not leave on his work week. We had to email the agency to inform them that The 11th would be our first choice but we could not leave on the 18th. If the 11th was unavailable, we would have to postpone our departure date until his week off again which would be the 25th. This posed so many different problems for us. One, of course, was that we wanted to leave ASAP! So intentionally delaying a week was excruciating! More importantly, was the fact that if we couldn't leave until the 25th, we would be gone when the kids started school. School starts for us August 7th. We don't find out who our kids teachers are, what supplies they need or any other information until a day or two before school starts. There are forms to be filled out, and decisions that need to be made then, and not being here to be able to make them would be so hard! My parents are going to have their hands full enough with keeping the boys for almost three weeks, in addition to a dental appointment, testing for the twins for Discovery (gifted) class , and more. To ask them to school shop, and be able to properly fill out school forms is just almost more than I can stomach!

But leaving on Greg's work week would mean he would have to take all of his yearly vacation time, to the day. If we needed him to be off, if he got sick, if one of the kids got sick and needed to go to the hospital, he would not be able to take off work. We talked this over, prayed about it fervently, and always came to the same conclusion, we just couldn't afford that loss of flexibility with half the year still to go. Want confirmation on that fact?

A week ago, Andy came to us and told us that he had "accidentally" swallowed a penny. We have had the glorious job of checking each poop since then to see if he passed the penny. Well, one week later, no penny. So today we had to go for an X-ray to confirm that the penny was still there. It was. Now we wait for a call tomorrow from our pediatrician  to see if they believe we should wait longer to see if he passes it, or will need to take him to have it surgically removed. That means we are facing possible surgery with him BEFORE we leave for China, and that we will be gone for the better part of his recovery. See what I mean about vacation? If Andy has to have surgery, that will have to happen within the next week, and this is Greg's week to work. He will need to take a vacation day to be able to be with us for that. If this was happening AFTER we got back, and we'd used all his vacation, he would not have that option. Can you imagine not being able to be with your child as he had surgery? Or being able to stay at home with the other kids while I took him? Not. An. Option.

Sunday we hosted a going away party for one of my very dearest friends. Few people come into your life, and leave you with such an amazing sense of joy as my friend Lynne has. She is 69 years old, (though you'd never guess she was a day over 50!) and in the few years we've been friends we've been through so much. When I was new at NorthStar, she was one of my first friends. She smiled, and hugged me, sat next to me, and made me feel so included the first time I attended a women's small group. And when I later left that group to start a new one with another woman, she joined our group. Then the lady co-hosting left soon after we began, and Lynne stuck by me and stayed in our little group anyway. She has been my number one supporter through thick and thin in our church life, and has always been available when I needed to talk. She will lift up the lowest person, and make the most introverted person feel welcome anywhere she goes. A year and a half ago, she slipped on some ice and wound up with a pretty severe brain hemorrhage. This required surgery and things were very touch and go for a few days. After her recovery, she had to go to an assisted living rehab for a few months. The week after she came home, her husband, who'd stood faithfully by her side from the very beginning of her injury, was killed in a car accident. Lesser people would not have been able to handle the loss and despair, but Lynne soldiered on. Even when she was down, she still had a smile and a hug for anyone that came to see her, and for everyone at church. Lynne is the person who sits on the front row, shouts praise at our band, and even more to our Lord, she dances, sings, and cries in worship, and seeing her faith has strengthened mine in more ways than one. Lynne was the first person who offered to host a shower for us, and she has been such an incredible rock of support for us throughout the adoption process. I will miss my friend, even though we will still talk all the time. I will miss her smile, her laugh, and her famous "Lynne Love."

Just typing this post has brought more tears, but I also know this. God's timing is perfect, even if I THINK mine is better...His is PERFECT. I find so much solace in that statement. Lynne's move has been hard, but it is the best thing for her. She's moving to be closer to her daughter and grandson, and she will be happy there and well cared for. Our adoption is moving according to HIS time, not mine. He alone knows what is best for us, he knows all the obstacles we know, and all the ones we don't. No matter what happens, and when we leave, it will be perfect, because that's what God's timing is.

  "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him."

1 John 5:14-15

As always when I have a troubled mind I find comfort in scripture. I ask today that you will join me in prayer not only for adoption, but for Andy, Lynne, and the Tech team at our church. Please pray that it be God's will for Andy to PASS THIS PENNY, and not to have surgery! Pray that Lynne will have as easy a move as possible, and that her sadness at leaving the church and friends she loves so dearly will be erased and that she will find many friends and a new and wonderful church there. Please pray that out consulate appointment will be made with no problems, and that we will have a definite date of departure tomorrow, and that if it is not the 11th, that God will continue to pump strength into us through the wait. I also ask that you will pray for the tech team at our church. Greg and I are both blessed enough to be able to work on the tech team, and our spots will need to be filled throughout our absence. Our team is already short handed as we've had a few people who have recently had to step down for various reasons, so we pray that people will step up and fill those spots, and that our absence will not create a hardship for anyone. As always we thank each of you for your prayers and support! We still have our T-shirt fundraiser active, and you can also donate financially through our Paypal button on the top left of our blog. I know I said no pictures, but I just have to post this one....

Isn't she beautiful?



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